Insights

Expecting something or trying to solve something or trying to get some answer all gives the mind a work to do, creating thought after thought. Letting go of expectations and desires gives no work for the mind to do and hence it remains quiet.

I am currently not a regular meditator. I meditate for some days and then I leave it all together for some days. Every time I pick it back again I always think that meditation is going to be a waste of time, I already feel fine, what is a few minutes of meditation going to do to me. And I have been wrong every single time. The feeling of openess and clarity (jhanic experience I guess) that I feel after meditation is something that fades away if I don't practice meditation regularly and soon I'd totally forget how it feels like. This is snippet is to remind myself and you that if you think meditation is a waste of time, you are wrong. Do it and then talk.

We all have a dream future. We want the external conditions of our life to be a certain way. We struggle every day to reach there. Let me share the idea that your dreams of the future do not matter. Even if you achieved that dream life, who you are as an experiencer is still going to be the same person as you are now. No external situation can change who you are. The only thing that can change about you is how you express yourself - how you express who you are. Maybe you could start expressing yourself in the way you want to right now.

Does this mean not to aspire for anything external? No, aspire all you want. But know that failing to achieve them does not matter. Who you are right now is who you will always be. What is more important is to deepen your understanding of who you are and based on that work on expressing yourself better.

An author loves all their characters be they evil, flawed, weird or an asshole because he/she wrote them that way for a higher purpose. Our stories (our life story) feel way too personal for us which is why its hard to accept such kind of people (including ourselves).

Accept everything as it Is.

An insight that you derive on your own is much more powerful than an insight you learn from someone else because you lack the experience and understanding that generated the insight. So you'll not know the depth of that insight. Also there is a huge possibility that you'll misunderstand and misinterpret the insight.